According to VictimsOfCrime.org, 1 out of 5 girls are a victim of child sexual abuse. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 out of 5 women have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. 1 out of 5 women experienced stalking victimization during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed. The troubling fact about these statistics is that these are only the reported cases. Imagine the countless cases that have gone unreported…it’s unimaginable.
Therefore, what happens to those women and girls who are left for broken and bruised, including those who did make reports? How does one heal in the presence of their abuser or start over when they carry the heavy load of shame, guilt and loneliness? For those who have never endured the pain of domestic violence, sexual abuse or stalking victimization might say, “Talk to someone”, “Get counseling”, “It’ll get better with time” or “You have to move on in order to heal”. Well that may be easier said than done if you don’t know how or if your level of trust in others has been utterly destroyed due to the visible and invisible wounds that were inflicted.
Where does one begin in this process of turning wounds into wisdom?
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the Will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. – Romans 12:2
What beautiful words this scripture offers. In cases of domestic violence, sexual abuse and stalking victimization many women and girls are plagued with negative thoughts about themselves during and afterwards. Many abusers hurl hurtful words, that are generated into negative affirmations and are often repeated continuously tearing the woman or girl all the way down to an empty shell. She unwillingly and, at times, unknowingly begins to conform to the thoughts and words of her abuser. She eventually believes she is ugly, that no one wants her or than she’ll never be anything more than a piece of action. She begins to take on the mindset of her abuser, emotionally and possibly physically abusing herself even years after being removed from her tormentor.
The girls who have been violated by their fathers, uncles or so-called family friends grow up believing they are only as good as the pleasure they can give, never realizing they have a tailor-made purpose by their Creator. The woman who is severely beaten beyond recognition surviving by an inch, goes on to think she will never be good enough or doesn’t deserve the love she desperately yearns for. Their minds, conformed to the continuous spirit-killing phrases that burn like lashes from a whip, are in need of a transformation and a complete renewal. The Hon. Minister Louis Farrakhan says, “A no good woman was made that way by a no good man”. He teaches that “Heaven lies at the foot of mother” and “A nation can rise no higher than its woman”.
Our existence is mere proof alone that we have a divine assignment. Whatever we survived physically is indicative of our inner-strength to out-power the emotional turmoil that has been plaguing our minds for days, months or years. No matter how bad it has gotten, no matter how many times we’ve soaked our pillowcases with tears or found “unhealthy” ways to mask our hurt; there is always another side to pain. Whether we realize it or not, it does not reside outside of ourselves.
Neither shall they say, See here! or, see there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” – Luke 17:21
There’s real power in transformation, and if that power is already within us we must begin asking ourselves the right questions in order to activate what’s in our possession. We must begin seeking out those who have not only survived it all, but are growing through it all. We must agree to show up, to come as we are and delve into the Will of God who works through men and women. No matter what you believe about yourself, the fact that you are reading these words says you understand you’re worth even with the smallest effort. There’s nothing more beautiful than a made up mind, and although it starts with you it brings us all together. Our suffering in silence is over!
Join me and many others on December 12, 2015 for the live premiere of The Women of Transformation Summit “Turning Wounds Into Wisdom! Click here to view!
Ebony S. Muhammad is the Publisher of Hurt2Healing Magazine, a digital publication that takes a fearless approach to subject matters plaguing both men and women such as domestic violence, sexual abuse, drug abuse, abortion, injustice, health/wellness and relationships. She is the organizer of ‘Turning Wounds Into Wisdom’, The Women of Transformation Summit Fighting Against Domestic Violence/Sexual Abuse.