The Warning Signs Of A Stalker

When your partner starts stalking

Over 50% of ex-partner stalking started before they left their partner (Mullen, Pathe and Purcell, 2009)

1. They become demanding/controlling, they want to know who you are texting, e-mailing, what you are saying.  They are suspicious, perhaps even paranoid.
2. They are contacting you multiple times a day asking you to confirm where you are at – if you are at an unusual place and they seem to know – suspect that they have put some geo location software on your phone.
3. They start sending aggressive, abusive or threatening texts.
4. They start to contact your friends and family trying to check up on you, get information about you, or trying to damage those relationships.
5. They start to spread rumors, put abusive, embarrassing comments online via social network, forums etc.
6. They seem to know information that you haven’t told them or know what you do online such as websites you’ve gone to, people you’ve chatted or sent e-mails to etc – suspect spyware on your computer
7. Your passwords stop working or keep changing.
8. You find e-mails marked read that you haven’t read, or e-mails sent from your account you haven’t sent.
9. Money starts going missing from your online bank account or goods being bought via online stores you use.
10. Information is deleted such as friend’s contacts, computer files, e-mails.

When online dating turns into stalking

1. They start contacting you multiple times a day.
2. They are anxious to move from a dating site to private e-mail, texting, or telephone calls.
3. They keep asking for personal information, where you work, where you went to school
4. They agree with everything you say “as if you were soul mates”.
5. They start talking about how much they like you only after a few chats.
6. They seem to be too interested – too soon.
7. If you block them they try contacting you using another different account.
8. They keep changing their story or somehow it just doesn’t all add up. A good test is to tell a friend what he/she told you and get their response. They will be more objective.
9. They become demanding/controlling wanting to know who your friends are, why you haven’t been online etc.
10. They know things about you that you didn’t tell them.
11. They seem to know when and where you are online. They say “I know you were online because I saw your posts” or they are always showing up in the same chatroom.
12. They start adding your friends and family to their list, even though they don’t know them.
13. They talk about you a lot in forums and online. Make up stories about you or describe going on imaginary dates with you.