It is an honor to attempt to breathe into our brothers the knowledge that was given to me, so that we can strive to become men that our wives and children love and respect. Making a baby is one of the basest things a man can do and for too many of us, it’s all we accomplish in this life. Most of us start off poorly motivated in our pursuing the female for pleasure only without any real thought of responsibility in our minds or in our hearts. So many mothers are doing the best they can with both their male sons and female daughters. Many of them are racked with uncertainty about how to care properly for their sons. Some of them realize that they as women exude powerful feminizing influences on their male children and genuinely and sincerely seek some male reassurance in our poor and suffering community.
Unfortunately some of us as men only know how to further degrade bad situations and our presence proves fruitless and unproductive to the mother and her child. Some mothers are nervous all the time whether they are doing the right things or not, because we are not there as men to perform our job and duty not only to our children but also for the mothers of the children. Fathers are needed in every season of their children’s lives and especially when a mother has to deal with rebellious teenage boys and girls. It is very evident that so many fathers do not understand the power we have been given to make a difference in our children’s lives.
So many of us we make babies with our women by accident. For most of us, anything that is not planned becomes an inconvenience. In case you don’t know this my brother, children are a huge inconvenience for the many millions of mothers who are forced to do it alone without much help from us as men. The last thing we were thinking about when we laid down with that woman was to get her pregnant. We had no plan to make a baby with some skeezer, some rip, some whore or trick or any of the other assorted ignorant names that we call our sisters and they now call themselves. We was just looking for a good time, and as R. Kelly sings, we were, “looking for some trouble to get into.”
But brother…look at all the fatherless children that fill the black community. Unless you work with young people like I do every single day you are disconnected from the tremendous pain and hurt that you as a father not being there in the life of your children is causing. So many men think that they are punishing the mother by not being there but in reality they are punishing their children more. You are also punishing yourself my brother. I wish that I knew the words to share with you of the tremendous joy and utter elation I feel towards each and every one of the six children that my beautiful wife, Cecelia gave to me. I have to pause to acknowledge her because my teacher, the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan shared with us from the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad that a woman goes to death’s door to bring a man back a baby. Now you think about that. Some of us hate the woman that gave us a son or a daughter, yet, we claim to love the child. But how can you honestly say that you love the baby but feel absolutely nothing for the woman that gave you the baby? When a man abandons his children, he has essentially told his God that he is unfit to be called a man. Brothers must keep in mind a simple fact: “Boys make babies, but Men remain to care for them.”
Any male can father a child, but a Man stands up and cares for the consequences of his actions that resulted from those pleasure-filled moments. The world is being overrun by hormonal boys who are finally realizing what God has given them the power to do. Very few of these hormonal boys are maturing into men with the capability and willingness to care for their new families. When a woman has a baby for a man she has given him his own family. Why are you fleeing from your own family? Why don’t you want the responsibility of taking care of what you produced? Are you singing the old commercial, “I don’t want to grow up because maybe if I did, I couldn’t be a Toys R Us Kid”. We are like big children in the black community as men playing with our little shiny cars and wheels, and the other Toys our enemies have provided to keep the grown children pacified. They give us grown black fathers a Play Station1, 2, or 3 to sit in front of all day and an X-Box 360 to figure out so we won’t disturb them as they run this world 360 degrees into the ditch of hell .
The answers to much of what is going on in the black community is simple. We must become real men that do not flee from our responsibilities and commitments. Why should we play games if we are men? Why must we hide from our babies’ mothers, our children or child support services? Where are we turning when we run? We are turning to the strip clubs, bars and often we end up back into the arms of another unfortunate woman who will begin the heartbreaking process all over again! Once again, we will ruin another future and leave another life seeking the support of one who never worried about the consequences of his actions or the ones he gifted with a lifetime of unprecedented pain. The Minister has further taught us s that because we are destroying ourselves, we are also destroying our future.
In my conclusion, Brothers, our Wives / girlfriends need us and our children need us as well. They need a strong man with a plan to stand by. They need our love and they need our support so badly in 2013. Fathers provide the infrastructure of the world. Without our vision, our focus, and determination, the responsibility of maintaining the livelihood of our families will continue to fall upon the shoulders of our Wives / girlfriends. Surely no real man can flee and watch a single woman struggle to maintain her sanity, her house, and his offspring. One of the biggest problems children face in our culture is that they have no idea when they reach the goal line and become a man or a woman. Maybe that goal line was never defined for you? What have you shared with your little son that he will know that he has arrived at manhood and he doesn’t need to prove himself anymore? How will your little girl cross over into the life of being a woman? These are all questions we must answer if we are to be fathers who help our children be all they were created to be.
You may be saying to yourself, “But, I don’t know how to be this type of father”. That’s understandable. While many men desire to be the kind of father who breathes life into their children’s’ lives, they’ve never been given a road map for how to fulfill that desired role. May I please recommend that you attend an F.O.I. (Fruit of Islam) Class in your city? This class meets every Monday evening and is a special class for men to teach men how to be real men in this kind of society. This class will help you to unleash the incredible power that God has already put within you to make a difference in the life of your family, your community and your people. This class will further provide you with the necessary nurturing and development and magnificent examples of men who will freely share their knowledge, wisdom and understanding with you.
Brother Marcus Muhammad @BrotherMarcus
Youth Motivational Speaker and Trainer