Mount Everest is the largest and highest mountain in the world. It is above the Death Zone (parts of Mount Everest that are above 25,000 ft. above sea level), where the air is too thin for a human being, so usually supplemental or extra oxygen is used when climbing. Accomplishing some of life’s goals can seem like climbing Mt. Everest. The need for that second wind or extra oxygen is desperately needed.
I have overcome quite a few things in my life in spite of those very close people who offered no advice, no help, no kind words of motivation and no inspiration. Instead, years of discouragement, harsh criticism, doubt and put downs as they sat back waiting for me to fall. Those are the ones who are still waiting for me to fall, and they are also the ones still saying I won’t make it. I have had close relatives view me as unstable and not serious about life, just because I chose to explore a world in my 20’s before settling down. I have had relatives tell me I have no direction, because of my choices to be away from all of their hate and be in a city where I’m isolated from family. I have had close relatives tell me that I would never amount to anything and that no man would ever want me. Growing up depressed and even entering my adult life with suppressed feelings of depression often haunted me. A lot of what I wrote about came from a very depressed place.
Still in the mist of all of that, I remained determined to succeed. I remained eager to learn, explore and accept more challenges. I discovered an outlet through writing. I remained productive and positive that I could accomplish what I set out to do against all odds. I still possessed the desire to be what I wanted to be and not be afraid of who I was in the process. My struggles were not few and far in between, but more like constant and so my faith was often tested. I realized that writing about it helped to get it out of me. Comfort came from doing what I enjoyed the most. And so, through writing I overcame one of the biggest depressions and what could have easily become the death of me. I found a new excitement within myself, a reason for being and that was the willingness to be open and share it with the world, helping someone else overcome and value my existence in the process.
Most recently, the father of my child told me that I will be a single parent; indicating that he will not be around even though I’ve known him almost 20 years. He left me in a position that he, along with many others, felt as though I would never recover from. Even I had doubts. That is when that extra oxygen was needed (faith, family & friends). Take a break if you need to! I took a break. I wrote down what I wanted to accomplish within the nine months that I would be pregnant and probably not in a position to work a 9-5. I had to consider limited income, increased expenses, and doing it all alone. And I did it. The list of things I wrote down to do within that time, I did. What I’m saying is, do something else in the meantime if the road to cypress is currently blocked or take another route to get there. That way, you are still overcoming what may appear to be an obstacle or hindrance. Climbing that mountain is still happening. You are still moving upward.
With a different mindset, I took a different approach than most people and women in particular about having a child. While it was something unplanned for me, it was not something I ran away from and it was not something I used as a crutch to now say I can’t do anything else in life. People use kids as a crutch to not do anything or as an excuse not to finish anything. People talk about kids as if they are the ultimate no, no. While, it may be the ultimate sacrifice it’s not the end of the world. They are an additional responsibility, true, but that only calls for more discipline in your life.
Some parents need to be mindful of the comments they make about their kids in the presence of their kids, such as; “If I didn’t have kids I would go”, “Girl, be glad you don’t have any children”, or “Girl, don’t have any kids”. Do any of these comments sound like something you have said recently? Well, imagine how that makes your child feel. Your child did not ask you to be here. Your child is not the reason you are not doing anything with your life, and your child is not an excuse not to try or continue to reach new heights in your life. Stop giving your children such a burdening thought to carry that they are the reason you are not where you want to or should be in life.
It saddens me that people (women) view children in general as a setback. Even nowadays they wish kids on others in hopes that kids will hinder them from pursuing their dreams. Misery loves company. However, if you possess the mindset that your children are a gift from GOD, a joy to have, the greatest blessing, you will realize that you have accomplished something that some women would die for. You would realize that you are one of the elite. You are given the task of being a mommy, a mother, a parent. You are commissioned to do something great! My child is an excuse for me to do more, be better and never give up. Knowing that I’m a parent and my child is depending on me, motivates me if not anything else. He’s all the reason I need to do everything I set out to do.
As I continued to climb this mountain, my air again thinning and the need for oxygen is there, I’m able to look back at how far I have come, not once but twice in life in situations where it seemed the world was against me and realize that I am an overcomer. I’m only a step away from simply overcoming something else.
Speaking Freely,
Niedria Kenny
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