I’d like to deal with a problem that scholars have yet to address, and that is “How do we stop domestic violence”? On the surface, you’d never understand, unless you get beneath the situation.
You see, we’ve become trapped in an insane society and wrongfully accepted the condition as “just the way it is”. A woman shouldn’t be physically or verbally abused at all! By all means, no matter what she says or does, a real man controls himself!
I cannot stress this enough! We are out of control when we try to control our women by force. I’ll repeat it, because I have learned! We are out of control when we try to control our women by force.
She says “Stop”! We apologize, make a little love and turn right back around and do it again! Why?
I raise the question, because we have yet to truly ask ourselves or one another for fear that we have no logical answer. Yet, it will stop once we start.
We have to first bring ourselves, as men, into a manly position. This is before we foolishly believe that we can handle a relationship. Too often, we begin from a position of weakness and then try to gain control or favor by abusing the woman.
That’s wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
I understand that you may not like it when the “honeymoon stage” of the relationship is over and reality kicks in. This is the part when she no longer cares about how cute you are or how good you are in bed. A woman needs a man, not just a freak in the bed! We need to understand this, beforehand.
You may be handsome, big and strong my brothers. However, the rent is due along with the electric, telephone and cable bills. Not to mention, the gas bill and the fact that the refrigerator doesn’t refill itself.
A manly position would be coming to the table with something. How about a sober mind, some independent living of your own, a legitimate and visible source of income, realistic goals, a clean bill of health and a desire to be faithful?
My sisters, that’s not too much to ask for or expect. Brothers, we expect the world, yet, we can’t even offer her a healthy state of mind! We have perfected being dysfunctional and a sight for sore eyes. Meaning, we make our women cry more than we make her smile!
Well, she gets on our case about not carrying our portion of the responsibilities… She knows that we are a lion trapped in a cage measuring 3,000 miles by 2,000 miles. Here’s the key to free yourself — It will stop once we start.
We must interrogate and investigate, then evaluate before we date! A boy will play house as long as you let him. A man will turn a house into a home! I’ll repeat it in case you didn’t hear me. If you let him, a boy will play house, but a man will make a house into a home.
We both need to interrogate. this is our lives and for many our children’s lives we’re putting on the line. We cannot half-step any longer. As you can see our methods of choosing partners or participants in a relationship is not a game.
Ladies, find out if we can read, write, and and subtract! Cover the basics of how does he make a living or does he just exist. Demand for him to show you. Find out by investigating before you end up behind closed doors in the nude, just to regret what was just done.
Please believe this ladies, we love and are honored to be in your good grace. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you, just to see you smile. However, we haven’t been ourselves lately – at least the past 400 years and counting. This is why we now wear our pants so tight and stay in the mirror longer than you.
I’ll promise you this, matter what; if you set the bar high, well rise to the occasion just to be with you. So don’t deal with us lightly. You have the right to interrogate and investigate before we date.
If a man doesn’t love himself enough to take care of himself, then to hell with him! That’s just not the man for you and he deserves to be by himself! In the face of truth, a man doesn’t have to ask or constantly beg another man to take care of him or his. If you don’t have a plan for your life, believe me, someone else does!
Brothers, we have to become who we were created to be. Tell yourself, “I am somebody, trying to be somebody to deserve someone like you…”.
No nation rises higher than its woman!
Salaam,
Brother Benjamin Muhammad
