Self-Help

When a Friendship Turns Sour

When a Friendship Turns Sour

By Lady 4.0


The dictionary defines a friend as – a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty. A true friendship is a bond that can seldom be broken. These are the relationships that are closest to us. A chosen few even make it to family status. These are the friends that were there for the birth of your children, and also the deaths of your grandmother, father and grandson. The relationship is built on the deepest level of trust, love and honesty. According to

 

Ecclesiastes 5:9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 

This passage describes in detail the importance of a good solid friendship. To have someone to stand in the gap for you in your time of need, to share your life accomplishments and to just be there to travel along life’s adventures with you regardless of the outcome, is one of God’s divine plans for our lives. Be mindful that some of the most precious relationships you cherish were developed prior to you or your best friend making the life changing decision to become saved and pursue your life as a Christian.  You would think this would be a decision that would ultimately bring the relationship to a higher level of regard, but that is not always the case. In many instances the friend that has made the decision to follow the path Christ has chosen for him or her now has the responsibility of holding themselves accountable for their actions. Without warning your closest friend of many years starts to accuse you of abandonment. You attempt to explain to them as best you can God has chosen a different path for you. You continue to reassure them you still love them just as much now as you did prior to becoming saved, but your words seem to fall on deaf ears. Nothing you do or say at this point can calm the storm that is slowly brewing in their heart. Your heart is saddened as well because never in a million years did you picture your life without them. The more you attempt to embrace them and include them in all the new and exciting aspects of your life, the more they rebel and isolate themselves from you. In their eyes you have become the enemy, even though that could not be farther from the truth. This causes you to reevaluate the decision you have made regarding becoming a Christian. Now you find yourself wanting to be the person you use to be. One that would not tolerate this type of disrespect from someone that is suppose to care for you, and rejoice with you. It becomes harder to control your tongue and you want them to hurt, just as they have hurt you. Doing your time of aggravation you find yourself putting pen to pad and journaling down a series of uninterrupted thoughts. You think back over their selfish behavior and you prepare to hit them where it hurts.

How can you stand in judgment of me when your life is far from perfect?

 

I mean criticizing everything I do and down playing everything I say as if

you hold the fate of my life in the palm of your hands

 

Or could it be that your shadowed my potential for greatness

 

Don’t steal my spotlight; there is enough room for us both on this journey

if you’re willing to share the small amount of space on this platform

 

Remember I am not your enemy, you hold soles rights to that movie and its

production

 

I thought we could sit and discuss this impasse in a more suitable setting, but

once again you want to be the center of attention

 

Repeat this five little words with me please “it isn’t all about you” the sooner

you get over yourself the sooner we can get this thing resolved

 

I mean damn I support you in everything you do 100% no questions asked

because I believe in your destiny

 

You can not hold a flashlight this one time because you have to walk behind

me instead of out in front

 

Holding this friendship together is becoming a bit of a strain but I’m willing

to do my part because I love you

 

But I warn you I can only take so much, so be careful the next time you are in

a tizzy and are threatening to jump off the edge of that cliff yet again, do not

be surprised if I am the one to give your butt the boot

 

Your eyes water and you began to pray. This is not how you anticipated you’re newly found life to be. If you did not know any better, you would have preferred everything to remain the way it was prior to becoming a Christian. You don’t quite know how to handle this unexpected road block. But now you have no choice but to seek God’s direction on this matter.

 

Ephesians 4:29-32

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

 

This scripture describes a detailed account of how God expects us to communicate with others once we have begun to follow His lead. Whether the person is saved or not is irrelevant. Make no mistake once you are saved you will still have some of the same issues, however now you are equipped to handle them in a more positive manner. Even though some relationships may suffer, you will regain the opportunity to salvage them.  There is also the possible reality that some of those same relationships will not make it to your new season.  Not because of anything you or that individual did but because God has completed the task of either you learning your lesson, or the other individual learning theirs. Remember not all relationships are meant to last forever. Even though that may be a hard pill to swallow, just know God will be there to comfort you through the transition.

 

Be Blessed,

Lady 4.0 @LadyFourPoint0

Written By

Hurt2Healing

H2H Magazine is the ultimate lifestyle digital publication that has been described as inspiring, life-saving and cutting-edge. Known for it’s penetrating exclusive interviews, H2H holds to the principle that there are no subjects too heavy for discussion.
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