Self-Help SOUL

Self-Love In the Midst of My Painful Past

Self-Love In the Midst of My Painful Past

It’s funny how you think that you know what life is going to bring you, and then one day what you think is reality turns out to be something that you never expected. You are the director of your own movie….you pick the actors… pick the scenes….you pick the sub-titles…then, before you know it…..the page goes black…and you find out you never knew anything at all….The Creator picks you up from your fall and helps you to lick the wounds so you can one day direct again…This is called “LIFE”. 

~Dawn The Self Esteem Queen™

I used to wish I wasn’t such a cracked pot.  I had been through so much in so little time that I spent many years feeling like it was a punishment to not have friends, to not have places to go or people to invite me to this party and that wedding.  Surely they weren’t inviting me because they knew my life was full of drama.  Surely they weren’t inviting me because they knew that if someone asked me how I was doing, they were going to have to hear the truth which was – I was probably helping someone out of something or ministering to someone through my own journey.  No one wanted to hear my superhero story.  It was just too much to take.

The truth was – Most people could never do what I do.  My gift to the world is my incredible ability to have empathy for others and their situations.  My gift to the world requires me to sometimes experience the pain I must later empathize about in others.  My gift to the World warrants that I take the time to look for the lessons in the midst of the trial or tribulation with an open and clean heart.  My gift to the world mandates that I forgive daily.  That forgiveness includes the forgiveness of self.  Some of you may believe that your past is prohibiting you from a life of pleasure.  Some may blame it on karma, others may blame it on a family curse, and someone may say it’s just not in the cards for them to live a painless life.  I am here to encourage you today.  What you are about to read is my secret for embracing my past to propel my future.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned over the last several years that I believe will help you today:

Not everyone will understand the reason you experience “pain”.  My question is, “Who said an unpleasurable experience had to automatically equate to pain?”  We’ve been told things like, “in the valleys you grow” and “to know joy you must experience pain”, yet we are often embarrassed to be in the midst of a growth spurt given to us from the Most High.

You cannot be empowered and continue to be a victim.  Learn to overcome your painful past by helping others.  Look in your circle for the amount of people who’ll allow you to have a “pity party” versus those who will actually pull you by the coattails and tell you to “get it together!”   You can empower yourself by learning from the pain.  Embrace the joy of learning what you don’t want in life through experiences.  Tell your story.  Help empower someone else through the power of conversation.

Self condemnation is an unhealthy way to live.  Stop being your worst enemy by allowing your idle mind to play tricks on you.  Most of us are beat ourselves up and then expect other people to be gentle on us.  Why would they do that?  For some, answering questions with a negative answer is the only way to live.  I asked someone, “How are you today?”  Her response, “Girl, I’m tired.  Been up all night….So and so didn’t come home last night…..I’m tired of my job…..Womp womp womp womp….”  If you feel the need to answer a compliment from someone by pointing out the flaws, you might be living a life of self condemnation.  Start to say, “thank you” when someone pays you a compliment.  Stop pointing out your flaws to yourself and others and learn that people often don’t see the imperfections you choose to see in yourself.

Don’t allow your past to define your present.  Learn the lesson and move on.  Allow your life to be transformed by the lessons and stop seeing pain as a negative in your life.  Don’t allow your past to disrupt your future.


Dawn, The Self-Esteem Queen


“I teach people how to BE BETTER human beings. My Mission is to help you seek, say, & live the TRUTH”

© 2011 Dawn The Self-Esteem Queen™ / SEQ International, LLC  All rights reserved.
Dawn The Self Esteem Queen is a Registered Trademark for SEQ International, LLC. All rights reserved.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR – With a knack for bouncing back when faced with the most difficult adversity, Dawn The Self Esteem Queen™ has quickly become known for her ability to get people out the “victim” mindset immediately. An Internationally Recognized Rescuer of Teenage Prostitutes and Runaways, In Demand Motivational Speaker, Author, Mentor and Certified Life/Spiritual Coach, Dawn “The SEQ” uses her experience with trials to mentor, minister, and coach people all over the World. One of today’s leading experts on Teen Mentoring, Self-Esteem Enhancement, and Servant Leadership, Dawn’s mission in life is to teach individuals how to BE BETTER Human Beings.




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