Self-Help

Raising the Bar: Top Shelf in 2016

Raising the Bar: Top Shelf in 2016

By Niedria D. Kenny

I will make this quick, because I know we all have resolutions to plan, get to and execute. We have dinner parties to attend, surprised proposals, engagement parties, announcement of babies…. Ok, getting carried away? Maybe. We have last minute to-do-list, to complete, before we seal up all things 2015! We have to make the annual cuts to our social media pages, as it corresponds with the people in our life. That’s an interesting thought.

I realize we have countless articles, post and status updates to get to, that will overload our timelines in the next few hours, about what we are leaving behind and what we are taking with us in 2016. We will see more metaphor usage than one can imagine, as people express their sentiments of the past, up against what they will do in the future. There will be parallels made in comparison to sporting events and tryouts, to emphasize the concept of ‘making the cut’ IE: Who will make the cut (the team), who will be a starter or bench warmer or MVP and VIP. There will also be prosperously decorated stairs that signify stepping up into the New Year, and so on.

So here’s one more! This article is not really about the most beautiful and luxurious bars that sit on top of the world. However, it is about a bar. The proverbial bar, that’s used to describe how high or low your standards are. I venture to say that, we have all missed the mark on some things, a time or two. We can attribute that to the fact that we were rebels, free spirits, a little curious or maybe just lost our way at one time. Those things weren’t because we didn’t possess the high bar mentality. If there ever was a bar, we just need to reach -to get back.

Class was born out of a system. So this isn’t a word that you just tack on to anything you do, which is what has been done in the past and has caused so many media wars between those who say they have class versus those who don’t seemingly present themselves with any class, but still refer to themselves as having class. While there is no consensus on the best definition, and has different contextual meanings; in common parlance, the term social class is usually synonymous with “socio-economic class. (You can do your own homework.)

While some never had a bar (other than the one you drink at), never heard of standards (other than achieving the lowest score), may have missed the lecture on values and to them, class is just a room; others really have been raised in a culture where “certain” values and standards were set, followed and respected. From household to household, there were common ground…. things that went without saying. The environment that was cultivated included others who were raised in the same system, where some things did not need to be explained.

Even those who never had a bar can achieve the status but they have to be willing to, instead of leaning on their, (past circumstance) as an excuse not to grow and learn. Education in the form of a degree may cost, but knowledge is FREE! There’s no excuse. If you choose to continue with the bar that you have set for yourself, you cannot expect someone with a higher bar, to lower his or hers in order to meet you. If you want a certain thing and it requires raising the bar, you will have to raise the bar. This would not be the time to be self-righteous about whom you are, how you were raised and how you are going to stick to your guns. Because you certainly do have the choice and the right to be exactly what you want, but your mentality is what will solidify that. And aren’t we talking about ‘change?’ You said you wanted change. In order for change, you have to change. Period! “If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done. (Unknown)

No one said you couldn’t be you. However, if you are looking for a Queen/King, you can’t have pauper ways forever. You will have to learn how to adapt to a certain system. Even in the movie (book), The Price and the Pauper, where roles were changed, the Pauper had to prove his identity (posing as the Prince) by producing the ‘Great Seal’, (which he was using to crack nuts with) before anyone would believe him. You will have to know some stuff.

Hopefully, this will give you the nudge to open yourself up to the possibilities you want in life, by raising the bar. Re-creating to me does not mean loosing who you are. It’s an internal makeover. It’s trying new things. It’s deciding on a new way of life, of living and making the steps toward what you really want. It’s actually stepping into your greatness. And that, sometimes requires stepping away from a menial past.

 

Freely Speaking,

Niedria D. Kenny

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