read in: 5 min
By DiLauris Muhammad
How many times have we heard someone say that they are waiting for “Mr or Mrs Right?” The word right according to Websters New World Dictionary means:
Upright, virtuous, correct, fitting, suitable etc.
If this is what we are looking for, why is it that we so often end up in abusive, infidelity laden and controlling relationships? We seem to settle for who is “Mr or Mrs Right” for right now!
We make lists of the attributes that we believe we want in a mate. I want a man/woman who:
is tall, with beautiful teeth, has a six pack, has curly hair, is light skinned, has a good job, has no children, owns their home, has a nice car…
When I look at the attributes of the word right, rarely do any of it’s characteristics make it on our lists. It seems that there is a very critical element missing from our search for this ever elusive “Mr or Mrs Right!”
Could it be the God factor? Upright, virtuous, correct, fitting, suitable! These are attributes of Godliness. A Godly thinking and behaving man and woman desires to “wait on God”. Not in a spooky sense, but in the sense that we must be found preparing ourselves for this type of relationship. This way when “Mr or Mrs Right” are made manifest, we are ready to receive them and be received by them.
I respectfully submit that we should build in ourselves and look for in “Mr or Mrs Right” prayer, charity, patience, trustworthiness, family values, stability (mental, emotional and financial), honorable character, respectfulness, attitude toward children and their mate, just to name a few!
When we start a relationship off thinking “I can change him/her” trouble will soon be at our door. There will be little quirks about a person which will surface regardless of our approach. Like, they chew funny, place the toilet paper on the roll backwards, they leave the toilet seat up, pick their nose… (smile)
These are just small things in the major scheme of a relationship between male and females.
The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches that “where there are no decent women there are no decent men.” When a woman sets the right standard, we will call that “Mr Right” out of him and into our life. This in turn allows for us to be that “Mrs Right” for him.
If there is truly any such thing as a soulmate, perhaps it is in us being desirous of a mate that feeds our soul.