By Deandrea Muhammad (@SisDeAndreaX)
The love was so sweet in the beginning. In the beginning he was singing sweet lyrics by Zapp & Roger
“Hey Lady, let me tell you why,
I can’t live my life without you, oh baby …..”
Things were great and the infatuation was so deep. She was singing sweet songs and soon the wedding day arrives. But what comes after the wedding day? Some couples get tied down in a mundane routine. They let bills, children and other responsibilities damper and weaken those initial feelings of butterflies and love. Things get real “routine” for lack of a better word. Our marriages deserve more. In the words of our sister Anita baker:
“We love so strong and so unselfishly,
And I tell you now that I made a vow,
I’m giving you the best that I got, baby,
Yes I tell you now, that I made vow,
I’m giving you the best that I got, honey”
The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan stated in an article entitled The Sacredness in the institution of Marriage, “Since the institution of marriage is one half of faith, then similar trials that are experienced in the journey of faith are also visited on those two souls that desire to become as one. After completion of many trials, the two become well pleased in the eyes of each other and well pleasing in the eyes of Allah (God).” We can’t be halfhearted in our marriages. This is a direct reflection of our spirit in becoming one with Allah (God). Let’s take time to reconnect with our spouses and come together in divine unity.
“Let’s make it last forever and ever”
Black marriages are under attack and we know that marriage and family are the basis of a nation. The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan said, “There is no success in building a nation without the building of family. There is no success in the building of family without the respect and honor for the institution of marriage.” We can’t run our marriages on autopilot. We ought to treat our marriages as living specimens. We have to cultivate our marriages and put in the time and effort to make it work. If there is a problem, divorce should not be our first thought. If there is a problem, pursue help.
We can actively invest in our marriages. There are three easy actions we can implement starting today. The first act actions are complementing your mate and recite a common affirmation for the day. These positive words will put positive energy into the relationship and build your partners self-esteem. You will become closer, because now each person is focusing on the positive in each other, settling on the best part. A second action that can be done is putting quality time on the calendar. When couples get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, quality time together can fall by the wayside. Just like specific times are given each day for prayer, schedule time for each other. A third action that can be taken right away is for each person to listen more than they talk. Become a true listener and try to hear not only the words that they are speaking, but the emotion and tone behind them.
Strong marriages will build solid family and community, and a resilient Nation. Let’s stay dedicated on each other with Allah (God) as the center.