Self-Help

Ask the Ordinary Black Man [Q:] My Boyfriend is out of Prison…Should I Ask Him to get Tested?

Ask the Ordinary Black Man [Q:] My Boyfriend is out of Prison…Should I Ask Him to get Tested?

Question: My boyfriend was recently released from prison and wants to sleep with me. I’m not sure how to bring up the idea of him getting tested considering the reality of sexual acts among inmates. What should I do? — Anonymous 

 

Advice: First, you should be commended for being concerned about your boyfriend’s health, because it has a direct bearing on your health, especially if you two plan to be sexually active. Let me also say, I fully understand why bringing up the ‘idea of him getting tested’ could be somewhat awkward. He may react angrily, or it could perhaps trigger memories of his prison stint that he would prefer to leave behind.

But guess what would be even more awkward? The discussion you two would be forced to have once symptoms of a Sexually Transmitted Disease begin to manifest. This situation calls for both of you to be mature people and to communicate openly and honestly.

Explain to him that it is because you care about him, his health, and your health that you desire testing. If he really wants to be with you for the long term, he will get tested. And just imagine how wonderful everything will be once everything is checked out and/or out in the open. Also, remember that being diagnosed with an STD, although troubling, is not the end of the world. Millions live fulfilling lives and have satisfying sex lives after being diagnosed with them. There are varieties of effective treatments, both natural and synthetic that make symptoms more manageable since some STD’s are with you for life. Unfortunately, in the case of an HIV-positive diagnosis—that would be life altering and life threatening. Do not take chances with your life.

Thank you for your question.

 

Peace,

~OBM @OrdinaryBlkMan

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Disclaimer: The advice offered by the Ordinary Black Man is intended for informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical or legal advice. For specific concerns, contact an appropriately trained and qualified specialist in the area of professional, financial, medical, or legal assistance.Neither Hurt to Healing Magazine nor The Ordinary Black Man are responsible for the outcomes or results from following the advice delivered in any given situation. You are responsible for your course of action, and the advice columnist, nor the publication accepts liability for any situation that may arise.

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2 Comments
Sis Tawon June 13, 2013 at 2:22 am Reply

I would suggest to have a serious healthy discussion about marriage. That way you can ask those questions and both go to get tested if you are serious. If not the game begins were you start to hide things of the truth that will lead to an unhealthy relationship.

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